Smiling through pain

Smiling through pain "The fog is like a cage without a key."

I'm here if you need someone to talk to. You all matter, okay?

Name is Tiina and I'm 20, I live in Finland. Always happy to make some new friends! :)

Reblogged from pitifulpitiful


if i die before my favorite show ends then use an ouija board to keep me updated about what happens next

"I should have loved you less.
I should have loved myself more."

Reblogged from raaein

(166/365) by (DS)

Reblogged from pitifulpitiful

So, my medication isn’t working like it should - at least not right now. I’m back to where I started, when I got my diagnosis. Everything’s back to the start. 

And I’m so tired of this. I know it’s only been a year and might take a long time until the medication is at right balance but.. Just sometimes I wish it was something like, something I could change. But this.. I just have to wait and see. 

I’m just tired of this, that’s all. 

Reblogged from makemestfu


You are 12. You’re at the library looking for some generic young adult fiction novel about a girl who falls for her best friend. Your dad makes a disgusted face. “This is about lesbians,” he says. The word falls out of his mouth as though it pains him. You check out a different book and cry when you get home, but you aren’t sure why. You learn that this is not a story about you, and if it is, you are disgusting.

You are 15. Your relatives are fawning over your cousin’s new boyfriend. “When will you have a boyfriend?” they ask. You shrug. “Maybe she’s one of those lesbians,” your grandpa says. You don’t say anything. You learn that to find love and acceptance from your family, you need a boyfriend who thinks you are worthy of love and acceptance.

You are 18. Your first boyfriend demands to know why you never want to have sex with him. He tells you that sex is normal and healthy. You learn that something is wrong with you.

You are 13. You’re at a pool party with a relative’s friend’s daughter. “There’s this lesbian in my gym class. It’s so gross,” she says. “Ugh, that’s disgusting,” another girl adds. They ask you, “do you have any lesbians at your school?” You tell them no and they say you are lucky. You learn to stay away from people.

You are 20. You have coffee with a girl and you can’t stop thinking about her for days afterwards. You learn the difference between a new friendship and new feelings for a person.

You are 13. Your mom is watching a movie. You see two girls kiss on screen. You feel butterflies and this sense that you identify with the girls on the screen. Your mom gets up and covers the screen. You learn that if you are like those girls, no one wants to see it.

You are 20. You and your friends are drunk and your ex-boyfriend dares you to make out with your friend. You both agree. You touch her face. It feels soft and warm. Her lips are small and her hands feel soft on your back. You learn the difference between being attracted to someone and recognizing that someone you care about is attractive.

You are 16. You find lesbian porn online. Their eyes look dead and their bodies are positioned in a way that you had never imagined. You learn that liking girls is acceptable if straight men can decide the terms.

You are 20. You are lying next to a beautiful girl and talking about everything. You tell her things that you don’t usually tell anyone. You learn how it feels not to want to go to sleep because you don’t want to miss out on any time with someone.

You are 15. Your parents are talking about a celebrity. Your dad has a grin on his face and says, “her girlfriend says that she’s having the best sex of her life with her!” You learn that being a lesbian is about the kind of sex you have and not how you love.

You are 18. You are in intro to women’s and gender studies. “Not all feminists are lesbians- I love my husband! Most of the feminists on our leadership team are straight! It’s just a stereotype,” the professor exclaims. You learn that lesbianism is something to separate yourself from.

You are 21 and you are kissing a beautiful girl and she’s your girlfriend and you understand why people write songs and make movies and stupid facebook statuses about this and time around you just seems to stop and you could spend forever like this and you learn that there is nothing wrong with you and you are falling in love.

You are 21. And you are okay.


Reblogged from faulty-constellations

a thing I wrote after arguing with an insensitive dude on facebook all day or Things Other People Taught me about Liking Girls (via samanticshift)

(Source: thesefirstfewdesperatehours)

My visit to get screened for cancer:

Reblogged from yougottabereadyy

  • Nurse: "Sorry your boyfriend couldn't wait for you in the waiting room, it makes women feel uncomfortable."
  • Me: "He wasn't my boyfriend and I don't see how it would make them uncomfortable, but that's my opinion. He was here for moral support. I understood, and so does he."
  • Nurse: "So he's your...."
  • Me: "Friend."
  • Nurse: (During the question asking) "How many sexual partners have you had?"
  • Me: "11."
  • Nurse: "How old were you when you first became sexually active?"
  • Me: "....Loaded question but....14, I guess."
  • Nurse: "You're sexually active, then."
  • Me: "Well....I guess...but..."
  • Nurse: "How many times have you been pregnant?"
  • Me: "Uh. 0."
  • Nurse: "O...kayy...-Checks 'condoms' as my preferred use of birth control-"
  • Me: "I don't use condoms. Or take birth control."
  • Nurse: "Then how do you avoid getting pregnant?"
  • Me: "With homosexuality."
  • Nurse:
  • Me:
  • Nurse:
  • Me: "I fuck girls."

"Internet friendship is not real"

Reblogged from there-are-monsters-inside-us

Reblog if this is a lie and you have made amazing friends on the internet.

The anniversary of her death is just around the corner. It’s on my mind all the time (except when I’m doing my nails or watching a tv-show) and.. It feels so bad. I feel this empty space inside me, it hurts and I remember just how much I miss her. 

I still can’t believe she’s really gone. I don’t want her to be gone. I want to call her, hear her voice and laugh again. I want to see her so bad. 

I wish this all was just a bad dream.

Reblogged from faulty-constellations



Confession: I have a friend who likes to text me at like 4am when he’s had nightmares or he can’t sleep or he just needs a friend. He thinks I’m always awake at 4am but really I go to bed around 12am and I change his text-tone to the loudest one I have just so it wakes me up when he needs me.

you’re the kind of friend everyone needs

I cried so much last night. So fucking much. And to be honest, I’d like to be alone. It’s almost the anniversary of my sister’s death and.. It’s all too much. It’s affecting me more than I’d want it to affect. 

To think that I have to be social this weekend and I don’t get to cry if I feel like it.. It feels just.. no. Just no. 

Reblogged from pitifulpitiful

(Source: in-fuck)

Reblogged from pitifulpitiful

(Source: yhtenailtanahumalassa)

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